Vincent
Tuxedo cat · the brains
"He's dead. That's a problem. But every problem is an opportunity, if you're not sentimental about it."
Who Feeds Us Now?
Notify me
Who you're stuck with
Meet the Pets
Adorable. Devoted. Absolutely not to be trusted. The household you're stuck in the kitchen with — and, depending on the act, the one you're playing as.
Duchess
Grey Persian · can't be bothered
"Oh, is he dead? Mm. Anyway, has anyone checked if the upstairs tap is still dripping? It's very annoying."
Bumble
Retriever · loyal to the loudest
"He's sleeping on the floor! He never sleeps on the floor. Should I bring him his blanket? I'll bring him his blanket."
Colonel
Parrot · 31 years & counting
"I've outlasted two owners, six cats, and a hamster nobody talks about. I intend to outlast this, too."
Coming to a phone you already own
How It Will Work
A text adventure that plays entirely inside Telegram as a Mini App. No downloads, no installs — just tap and play. Eight standalone acts, branching choices, real consequences, one dead owner — and you'll be able to play them in any order.
01
Open Telegram
Tap the link. The game opens right in the app you already have. Nothing to download.
02
See through their eyes
Each act drops you inside one of the four — cat, dog, or parrot. You don't choose who; the story does.
03
Survive
Make choices. Live with them. The bowl won't fill itself, and someone has to be first.
Open Telegram. Make your choices. Survive.
A taste of the kitchen
Try a few moves
a 30-second taste. the real thing has teeth.
The first season
Eight Acts, One Kitchen
One house, one body, eight ways through it. Each act stands alone — and none of them go well for everyone. Act I lands first.
I
◆ FIRST
The Floor
He's not getting up. Someone has to say it out loud. Nobody volunteers.
II
SOON
Four Days of Kibble
The maths is simple. The maths is also deeply upsetting.
III
SOON
The Pantry Question
One sealed bag, zero thumbs, and a worrying amount of ambition.
IV
SOON
Duchess Doesn't Get Up
She has thoughts on the crisis. She will not be rising to share them.
V
SOON
The Colonel Speaks
Thirty-one years of this house, recited in the owner's exact voice.
VI
SOON
Good Boy
Bumble is still waiting by the door. Bumble can wait a very long time.
VII
SOON
The Window
Two inches open since summer. Turns out the food was never outside.
VIII
SOON
Who Feeds Us Now
It comes down to loyalty, hunger, and one extremely awkward vote.
Early reviews
What the Household Is Saying
Five stars. Four survivors. Results may vary by species.